This Tweet came across my timeline a few hours ago:
Jedward are currently in a High Court battle over merchandising rights – and their barrister looks 100% psyched to be representing them pic.twitter.com/5iX8na7zny
— Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) November 2, 2017
Besides this being the best thing to happen all week (except maybe the 11 minutes during which President Trump was suspended from Twitter), it got me to thinking: is Eurovision a fun-free hellscape?
Bear with me. That Tweet sent me on a classic trip down Memory Lane as I relived the hyper-energetic and coruscating performances by Jedward in 2011 and 2012:
How fun, right? Of course, I don’t mean to say that there’s never been a “fun” Eurovision entry since Jedward. Even this year, there wed a few that could qualify as fun for fun’s sake, though not many:
The best thing about these performances is that they’re easy to enjoy, upbeat, friendly and don’t require you to have an existential crisis when it’s over. Isn’t that refreshing? Even Måns and Petra tried to point out that we’re all taking ourselves a bit too seriously at Eurovision.
But, these entries never win. It’s always – always – a song about falling in love, falling out of love, finding yourself, war and/or peace. Blah. Just think back to the recent winners:
- Salvador Sobral – Amar Pelos Dois – blergh. The worst of the lot. Probably the song that also set this post off with Salvador’s grandstanding about how all other music means nothing (but more on that later). Have you heard the intros on the Eurovision.tv monthly updates this year with this song as the theme? It sounds like a funeral procession. Italy was robbed.
- Jamala – 1944 – even though I love this song (it’s true), it makes you shed a tear. I’m tired of crying to Eurovision winning songs.
- Måns Zelmerlöw – Heroes – upbeat, but you couldn’t say fun. An indie film of self-discovery in song form is not fun.
- Conchita Wurst – Rise Like a Phoenix – another song about being a strong individual who doesn’t permission. Cool, we get it.
- Emmelie De Forest – Only Teardrops – the word “teardrops” is literally in the name.
Why must I be depressed, enraged, empowered and transformed inside when I watch a Eurovision smash? I just want to jump around, do somersaults and have someone yell “awesome! woo!” in a sequinned, Power Ranger jester costume? Is that too much to ask!?
Please, Ireland. Send Jedward next year. Justice would be served watching Sobral hand over the Eurovision trophy to those two. One can dream…