I’ll make this brief. Our close neighbours in Australia like to “streak”, which – for the sake of our friends in Europe who may be unfamiliar with the term, – means to run naked in a public place so as to shock or amuse others.

Eurovision was tainted tonight when someone brandishing an Australian flag ambushed the stage while Jamala, last year’s winner, was performing her new single.

No-one knows, at least not me, why Australians do this. I didn’t find this dumb Australian’s little stunt shocking or music. Shock and amusement fizzles out pretty quickly when it’s done over and over again. It was, to say the least, just disrespectful to the Contest, to Kyiv and especially to Jamala.

An SBS (Australia’s broadcaster) representative apologised for the streaker during the the winner’s press conference after the show. I feel like we should say sorry too. I don’t quite know why but I’ll do it anyway.

Sorry, everyone. Australian can be a bit of dick sometimes (trust us, we know). If you don’t want them back next year, we’ll happy send someone to Lisbon to take their spot. Just give us a call…

Update: It turns out the streaker was actually a Ukranian prankster. Whatever. Our points still stand.

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